Oh Shit!                                         Written By:
Matdeception

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and A!MG doesn't belong to me, and I make no claim
to owning such works. I write this for fun, and to pay homage to the
original authors. Likewise I make no attempt to earn a profit off this
work.

Authors Notes: Prologue, please pay attention during the disclaimers for
futhur chapters, as I will probably not be using the same set of series
every single chapter. For instance, in this chapter I have used Ranma
and A!MG, while next chapter I will not be using A!MG, so thus I won't
mention it in the disclaimer.

Any C&C or flames should be sent to Narkanarka@hotmail.com Thank you.

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Prologue - Stupid People make Stupid Wishes. (First Draft)

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"Curse the boy!" raged Genma as he tore through his son's belongings,
seemingly in search of something or another.

If only his worthless son would hurry up and marry Akane! Then he would
truly be a Man amongst Men; meaning Genma could finally get back to his
loving wife! All these years away have taught Genma what he truly
sacrificed when he took the ungrateful whelp on their ten-year training
trip. Yes, Genma sorely missed the love of his wife, not to mention her
cooking and silly dotting. If only his thrice-damned son hadn't fallen
in that accursed spring none of this would have happened, which means he
could have returned in triumph to his sexy wife Nodoka.

Sadly, that wasn't meant to be, or so it seemed. Genma's dreams crashed
and burned like Saffron the moment a mop of scarlet red hair erupted
from the Pools of Sorrow.

"Manly" muttered Genma as he picked up a box among his son's belongings.
Sitting cross-legged, Genma grinned, his hands tracing over the box and
the few unintelligible sigils etched across its surface. He remembered
when he had acquired this beauty; those stupid priests had put up a
rather harsh fight in keeping it from his hands.

Genma still idly wondered why those same Priests had begged him not to
take it, and then warned him it would consume his soul if he ever opened
it. He had feared for his life, so he gave it to his son to hold, since
if it indeed was cursed as they said it was, it should take the boy
first, there by giving him enough time to run for his life.

Popping the top off, Genma slowly pushed the lid back, revealing the
treasures within for all to see. He stopped his breathing for just a
moment, and then threw the box and its belongings across the room
angrily.

"Oh heaven forbid! It's the cursed box of dog shit!" he ranted.

It was true, the inside contained nothing more than rotting fecus, and
the smell was just too horrible for the astute Master of Anything Goes
to stand.

Genma failed to notice the smooth white silky leg emerging from the box
of shit, likewise he failed to see the owner of the leg, a strawberry
blond woman with white highlights dressed in a rather suggestive tight
leather outfit, step fully into the room.

"Genma Saotome.." the woman intoned.

Stopping in his tirade, Genma turned slowly at the sound of the woman's
voice. His eyes widened when he saw just who was in the room with him.

"We have much to discuss, Saotome." The unidentified woman said angrily.

***

Genma blinked, trying his best to absorb this new tidbit of information.
" Let me get this straight Miss…"

"Mara, Saotome." Neither missed the lack of a honorative.

"Mara.. for teaching my son in the way I have, bringing him up to become
a man amongst men, you're going to give me a wish?" Sounded to good to
be true.

Mara nodded slowly, "Hai. Anything you wish for will be granted."
Barring of course what portions of the wish that gets corrupted, Mara
added mentally. "What will it be?"

Images of gold, diamonds, food, and a healthy retirement at the expense
of his son flashed through the man's mind momentarily, before settling
on a razor sharp Katana. Nodoka just found out about the boy's curse,
but she had yet to take action for his failure. He could wish for his
son's curse to be removed, but even then it still didn't assure he would
be the man amongst men his dear wife wished him to be.

"I wish…"

Mara wanted out of this right now. Her assignment to that Morisato boy
was more important to her than this bungling boob. "You wish?"

Genma frowned, deep in thought as he tried to figure a way to word his
wish correctly. He didn't want Mara to misinterpret his wish and screw
things up more than they already are.

"I wish for my son, Saotome Ranma, who is Heir to the Anything Goes
School of Martial arts, to become the absolute best Martial artist,
Warrior, Defender, and the manliest man possible in the whole' Genma
stopped there for just a second.

'World? Why stop there? Nodoka might want more than the world,
considering the boy's curse.' Genma looked at Mara questioningly.

"In the whole… what Saotome." Mara asked impatiently, her eye's flashing
with unhidden annoyance.

Seeing Mara wasn't going to give him any ideas, Genma searched out the
room looking for something that might just give him inspiration. About
to give up and just say world, Genma spotted one of the few Manga his
son collected. On it depicted a woman with striking red hair, grinning a
Cheshire grin at some boy strapped to a lab table, while shouting out
something about 'GREATEST SCIENTIFIC GENIUS IN THE UNIVERSE!'

Inspiration struck. 'Universe! Yes! Universe! If he was the greatest in
the Universe, surely No-chan would forgive me!"

"… in the whole UNIVERSE!"

***

Downstairs, another wish was being made

Soun 'Water Works' Tendo blinked twice at the beautiful and exotic woman
before him, trying to comprehend two things. One, how the hell this
lovely lady could crawl out of his television, and two he was trying to
figure just what in hell was going on!

"Heaven, Tendo-san." The platinum tressed woman replied.

"Huh?" Soun answered stupidly

"It's 'figure just what in heaven was going on'. I'm not a demon, as
I've already explained." Said the woman in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Let me get this straight Miss Urd. You're a goddess, you're here to
grant me a wish for being such an honorable father, any wish I ask for?"
Soun attempted to clarify, his tone sounding incredulous concerning the
situation.

Urd nodded mutely while examining her fingernails, looking for one
little mar upon her beauty.

Soun pondered this for a moment. He hardly considered himself an
honorable father. He knew he had been rather lax concerning his
daughters in the past. What with his darling Akane's violent nature, not
to mention Nabiki and Kasumi's Mercenary and housewife mind sets. Still,
these last two years had been an eye opener for the aging Tendo
Patriarch. His primary thoughts were focused on the events of the last
few months.

He didn't like the Saffron incident, and cried every night his darling
Akane had been kidnapped by those ruthless bird people. Likewise he was
ecstatic when Ranma not only rescued Akane, but also killed to save her.
If that didn't speak of devotion, he didn't know what did.

Then the failed wedding attempt. 'Why won't Ranma face his destiny and
marry Akane!?!?! Wait a minute… any wish I ask for?"

Grinning widely, Soun wished..

"I wish for Saotome Ranma to face his ULTIMATE DESTINY!" Soun, of
course, believed Ranma's destiny to be him marrying his darling little
Akane.

How wrong he was.

***

Across town, another wish was being made

Kuno looked perplexed at the two-foot tall midget before him.

Odd, he mused. He was just cleaning some of his fathers possessions when
he knocked over this empty shoe box, then out popped this miniature
demon, no doubt placed here by that nefarious Saotome Ranma in an
insidious plot to assassinate such a noble Samurai! Well, he wouldn't be
fooled.

"Damn kid, you make your wish yet?" asked the balding little man, his
hand tucked down under his belt line.

Should he wish for his loves to come to him? Nay! He won't dare use the
unholy powers of the unholy fiend Saotome Ranma! No, he will instead use
his magic against him, it will be fitting if Saotome was defeated by his
own dark magic! Yes it will be poetic justice! For surely, once that
scourge Saotome is defeated his two goddess's will come to him of their
own free will. It is fate!

"I wish for your Dark Master, Saotome Ranma, to be banished from this
dimension! Never to set eyes upon it for a million years!" Kuno
exclaimed, looking to the Heavens as he gave his wish.

Kuno believed Ranma would be dead by the time the wish expired, he added
the time limit for not even he would seek to deprive the black immortal
soul of Saotome's from forever reaching it's eternal resting place.
Whether it be in hell or purgatory, for surely one such as the nefarious
Dark Sorcerer would never be allowed entry into the paradise that is
Heaven!

The little man, Demon in the guise of a hard working Shoe salesman Kuno
figured, blinked thrice at the wish. Repeating it in its mind, the Demon
pondered the implications of said Wish.

'I wish for you're Dark Master' Well, his Dark Master was none other
than the Demon Lord of Soap Opera's Peggy, that foul Balor who
imprisoned him for eternity within this cramped shoe box. 'Saotome
Ranma' he guessed he had to include the kid in the wish, 'to be banished
from this dimension' by now the Demon was growing frantic, was this his
ticket to true freedom???  'Never to set eyes upon it for a million
years!' Hmmm! FREEDOM AT LAST!

The little imp grinned like a cat that just caught the canary, in
compliance he stated, "You got it kid. Thanks."

***

Watching the influx of wishes, Kami-sama blinked, immediately tuning out
Skuld's report of increased bug activity. He watched as the three wishes
tore through the safety protocols with out slowing down. Seemed the
other two wishes snuck by when Mara inferred a direct systems jack. Now
caught in the buffer, the three wishes began merging into one.

Kami-Sama could say only two words to best describe the situation and
the possible after effects.

"Oh Shit."

Skuld promptly fainted.

***

To be continued