Ki Adept - Chapter 1 By Matdeception ************************************************************************ Disclaimer: Ranma ½ is the product of some ones over starved imagination. Who cares? I don't, but I'm giving credit where its due, and it certainly ain't got anything to do with me. Credit that is. Gold Digger belongs to some one, again I don't care since it isn't me. C&C to narkanarka@hotmail.com - Flames will be fed to the over active, less than attractive whore that I call a significant other. Anything else will prolly go to me. ************************************************************************ Arriving back to the Dojo in Nerima, I'm treated to the sight of a snarling, cussing, and otherwise pissed off beyond all recognition Akane, psycho slut extraordinaire, being hauled away by a SWAT squad in a stray jacket. Taking a moment to look for signs of mass destruction and finding none, I become curious. Had all my hard work failed to yield results? Had my knack for pissing people off into a finely honed rage of Annihilation been resisted? I don't believe it! It's like a blow to my pride! This will not stand! A little miffed, I stalked up to Senior Inspector Takashi. A thirty-year-old mother of three, with long auburn hair tied into a bun, her shapely body always managed to send thrills of pleasure, lust, desire.. Who am I kidding? I feel the overwhelming urge to screw her brains out okay! Anyways, she stood at the low height of 5'6, skinny despite her recent childbirth; god only knows who the father is. Whoever the poor sod is, he can't be in a worse situation as I am right now. She turns, her deep brown eyes raking lecherously over my young body, kinda making me feel like a piece of meat. I won't lie and say I don't like it either. She's such a screamer! "Hey Chisa-chan, how's it going?" On a whim, I open my telepathic senses, and shut the off just as fast. This woman is depraved! Leave it to a cop to think of all the 'interesting positions' one can get into with a nightstick, some orange juice, and a paddle. Weird. "Just fine Ranma." She answers, slinking up close to me, in the process rubbing parts of her anatomy against me while groping my ass. I grin, since I kinda decided to appear mysterious and demonic at that bar, I couldn't just appear out of nowhere and seduce the waitress. Ruins the whole effect. Again, cursing my shortsightedness, but praising my luck, I encircle Takashi, pressing the diminutive detective against my chest all the while tracing her passion points along the underside of her arms, and then down to the small of her back. Gotta make sure to leave minute surges of Ki there, it should keep her pumping out pheromones. "We finally had enough evidence to lock away Ms. Tendo here for prostitution." She answered in that sly and hungry voice. Why none of the officers have noticed us, or commented on their CO's lack of modesty is beyond me. Pondering my little sex kittens words, I ask the inevitable question, "How?" I could swear she kept a low profile and only screwed people she knew and trusted! Damnit, it was my job to make sure our best piece of female ass (mine not included, I kinda had a tendency of ripping guy's dicks off when they proposition me. Doctors were rather amazed they managed to sew them all back on, and all it did was make them sterile for reasons they can't begin to fathom) managed to stay out of jail and on the street, making her Pimp daddy - me - money!. The reason Takashi provided made me realize this was in fact best for everyone "Seems she had a recent blood test, and is a veritable swamp ground for diseases." I chuckle, serves the bitch right "She even has a few none of the doctors could identify!" Well damn, I wonder how long she's been spreading that stuff? I gratefully look up into the sky, mouthing my words of thanks - Thanks I didn't pull a Kuno and sleep with a verifiable cesspool. "Ah, that's to bad." I answer with such a sarcastic tone that no one could deny my scorn, hatred, and loathing for the youngest Tendo Daughter. I ask, "Have you told her Father and Family yet?" Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not an overly mean bastard to people in general. The Tendo's, for the majority of my stay here, have made my life a living hell. So I take any chance I can to get back at them. Such as now. "No we haven't." I become giddy with the possibilities of torture I can afflict on the house before running like the non-committal bitch I'm turning out to be. Its like god decided to give me a hand after the bomb shell with the other Tendo Daughters earlier! Cracking the evilest grin I could, I began walking - and dragging - Takashi towards the Tendo Dojo. What to do? I could be truthful and tell Tendo what a dishonorable slut his daughter was, and then tell him I impregnated his daughters or something. Or I could 'accidentally' pop in that dog tape - do some digital splicing and add Kuno's face to the dogs… something. Heh, this is going to be fun! I ignore the sounds of the other officers shouting something about resorting to deadly means to keep Akane from killing everyone. Something also about brutalizing the suspect for biting an officer. Whatever. What truly caught my attention was the mention of a Tiger-Man. What the fuck? Casting my sight back, I caught sight of this 'Tiger-Man'. Expanding my mind I nearly stumble in my step. Just what the hell was a prince of the Kyrn doing here? Screw it, none of my business. I'll call Julia up and ask.. I'm fairly certain I know that guy from somewhere. I should have realized that for every good thing to happen to me, something infinitely worse would spring up mere moments after. This 'worse' thing was the woman next to me, Inspector Takashi, as she relays a piece of information to me I nearly missed in my plotting. "Ranma…. You're the father of Kaushito…" How to describe this feeling? It's like watching a dinosaur take a shit, then flinging the boulder size amount of crap at a huge fan and watch as it flies off in all directions. Why me? I know, I know, interesting times and all that. Yada yada yada. Do the gods actually think I'm going to do what pops did, and actually stay with the bastard kids and treat them like shit? Hell no, I can treat them like shit by leaving and ignoring them from somewhere else like the rat bastards they are. Joy. Replying with the most caring, understanding, and joyful voice I could muster at the moment, I responded, "You've got to be shittin me Chisa! No fucking way is that my kid!" The hurt look in her eyes called out to me. Or maybe its those god damn tears she's spilling all over the place in a strange likeness of Soun Tendo's waterworks, whatever it is, I yield and pull her into a tight embrace, meanwhile calming my Ki and passing it into her. I'm such a pussy when it comes to women crying, damn pops to hell for ingraining the need to protect women in me. "I'm sorry Chisa-chan. Its been a rough day" hugging her tight, I'm rewarded with a relief in tears. Good, makes the blatant lie I'm about to tell her seem more sincere, instead of being swamped down in guilt for bringing myself to lie to her. "I love you Chisa, I'm sorry I ever acted like that. Tell you what, love, lets go tell the Tendo's about Akane, and then you and me can go get a cup of coffee or something." If I gave two shits about her feelings, I would feel pity for her. She truly believes me, heh. Ah well, come tomorrow she'll find out different, hopefully by then I'll be out of her sphere of influence. Cops can get rather nasty yah know, especially if your within their 'Jurisdiction' or whatever the gaijin term is. Opening the door to the Tendo Dojo, and ushering the Detective in, I'm forced to detach myself from her. Wouldn't do any good for the others to get wind of my of marriage affairs at the moment. This, despite screwing and impregnating the other sisters does not escape me. At least the bastards will be somewhat happy their union of the schools is going to come about. Whatever. Fate decided to screw with me again, fucking Karma needs to lay off. Arriving in the living room I receive glares from all those gathered. Except Kasumi, she has that dominatrix smile going, what a slut. "What's wrong?" I ask, again feeling that sense of impending doom come about, its kinda like some one walking over your grave. Nabiki's the one to give me a reply, since pops and Tendo are crying/cursing my existence. "Saotome, we just received word from Cologne… care to explain why Shampoo's pregnant?" Burning in hell would be better than this, and Chisa's here - Shit. Nervously scratching the back of my pigtail, I decide it best to make a run for it. How to distract the masses? Ah yes, this should work. "Not really, what you should ask yourself is why Shampoo, Kasumi, and yourself are pregnant. There are few things more encouraging than watching the blood drain from Nabiki's face. Its like watcher her piece together a puzzle that's been in front of her face the whole time. The morning sickness, food raids, and the most damnable piece of evidence - her lack of a god damn period for the last two freaken months. Kasumi just smiled on and nodded while speaking lustfully, "Yes Nabiki-Neechan, that's why I've been playing with Ranma so much! No period for nine months can lead to all shorts of fun." Those in the room finally took notice I'm no longer there. On my way out I snatched Chisa's radio - Might as well see if she throws the whole goddamn police force after me. I stop by the phone on my way our and read a message left for me. I nearly scream! That bastard Ryoga planned this! Little fucker, he called and left a message for me. Hey Ranma; If you're reading this, then you're still alive. As a parting gift I told the Tendo's and the Amazon's about your love children, anyway - Have fun! See yah hooker! Ryoga. Growling with rage barely kept in control, I forced myself to discard this revelation for the moment. I had more important things to do, like run and hide. Screw this; I need to get out of here NOW! Ten minutes after exiting the Nerima perfecture I pick up Chisa screaming on the radio. "All units are to assist in the city wide man hunt of Saotome Ranma!" I couldn't help but notice the utter rage and hate in her voice. Ah, to be in love. Fuck that. *** Gina Diggers, genius extraordinaire, awoke groggily to the sunrise. The last few days had been pure hell for her family; the relationship between Brittany and Strype took a nosedive. The beating Strype received probably wouldn't heal for months, and then it would prolly take him another year before he could make use of his little Strype again. Gina had been tempted to use her Nanites to regenerate Strype, but after hearing the utter rage, hate, and betrayalment in Brittany's voice she decided against it. Asshole could rot in hell for what he did. What did he do? He found some woman with a fetish for screwing dogs over the Internet, and then decided to ditch Brittany for some slut in Japan. Whatever, good riddance. Clothing herself, Gina made her way downstairs for breakfast and the morning 'small talk' between her families. Instantly something registered off as she entered the Kitchen. Mums and pops had been seething like demons from the lower echelons of hell the past few days, as any parent would when their children are betrayed by those they most hold dear. However, something had Julia Diggers in a mood that can only be defined as 'Perfect and happy beyond belief.' Risking her sanity, Gina broached the question that would make or break her day. "Mom? What's got you in such a good mood?" Beaming with pride and utter excitement, the Matriarch (as she would be termed in Japan) of the Diggers family replied much to forward for the younger girls taste. "He's coming! I can't believe it! A real life Ki Adept is coming!!" Now, normally Gina would tune out the utter crap about Ki and Magic her parents seem to sprout off at all times of the day, but something about the way she jumped around like a teenage school girl just rubbed her the wrong way, and so she continued her inquiry, "Who? And what's a Ki Adept?" "Saotome Ranma, and a Ki Adept is what you would call a natural bio-energy manipulator. Their skills are not comparable to normal Ki users! I've never actually seen one, much less took one on as a student! This is like Christmas times a billion" weird, her mother never usually referred to anything like this. Gina, wondering if her mother was on the crack pipe again, simply shrugged and responded "Oh, sorry for asking. I'm just surprised you got over the whole Strype thing so fast." A evil cackle informed her something else her mother knew about had yet to shed light, her interest piqued again, she broached the question on her mind "Something happen to Strype?" A voice full of hatred and loathing sounded behind her, and she immediately recognized Brittany. She's been such an uber bitch these last few days, Gina really shouldn't have been surprised by her arrival, but it still unnerved her how the normally excited, fun, and happy go lucky were-cheetah could turn into such a bitch. Thankfully, her mother made her voice heard "The Ki Adept that's coming to live and train here, he's taken care of Strype Brittany." Again with the evil cackle, just what the hell happened? Once again, she didn't have to voice her question "What are you talking about mom?" Brittany asked, sounding kinda curious, scared, and smug. Its not hard to understand why, even if she was betrayed, she still cared for the ass. "Saotome Ranma called us from Japan, he asked why there was some Tiger-Man in Japan. At first I was kind of hesitant to explain, but boy am I glad I did." Once again with that insane laughter! That's it, either she's doped up or some one is in need of some serious mental help. Gina couldn't help but ponder the mental instability of her mother, or the entire human race for that reason. They're totally illogical. Fun, sexy as all hell on most occasions, but illogical. An evil smirk grew on Brittany's face, however this was off set by the sickingly cute pout she carried with it, as she asked "So.. what did this Ranma say?" Julia, already anticipating the question came out with it, "The 'slut' that Strype ran off to got caught screwing him. The best part, Ranma tells me, is that Akane had just been diagnosed with more than 23 different STD's, some the doctors have never seen! For some reason, he can't access his telekinesis anymore! He's stuck as a god damn freak of nature in some lab!" No insane laughter this time, well, at least not from the crack head mother of hers, but this time from her dear demented sister. Am I the only one that sees this screwed up situation as anything more than 'just revenge'? After they managed to calm down, Gina broached something that just popped into her head "So… mom, why is this 'Ki Adept' coming here? I'm sure they're just enough Ki trainers in Japan, if not more than here? Why come over half the world?" curious, her mother blushed beet red. Does father know about this guy? "Well… he's sorta, uh.. he's become Ronin. Yeah, that's it. Something about not wanting to marry out of honor but out of love.." The tone Julia Diggers used left no room for error - She was blowing smoke out of her ass, just what did this mean? Turning to Brittany, Gina nearly cried. Stupid emotional wreak that she is, she believed it… oh boy "That's so sweet…. Why couldn't I find a guy like that!" and once again off into her depression. What is it with these people? Screw this, Gina thought while retreating from the room. Brittany being comforted by their mother. Gina just couldn't understand it, in either case - The name Saotome Ranma stuck to mind. Just who is this guy? Why did mother react the way she did? Where the hell is dad? Normally he's all piss and vinegar when any guy comes to stay with the family? *** Tied to the Diggers bed, one Theodore Diggers laid in bed, completely spent. He smiled, he never did understand why his wife got this way every few months. In the back of his mind he knew it had something to do with a phone call she received, but for the life of him he didn't care! If a phone call could liven up their sex life, then he would be damn sure to get her a calling card! Whatever! He made a mental note to himself, however. Next time his wife brings in a car battery with cables to attach to his nipples, he'll make sure NOT to take a shower before hand. Those damn things hurt! *** Kyoto Embraced in Shadows, this is my home. Surrounded by people, oblivious to my presence, this is my home. Shrouded in Mystery, this is my home. Running from gun toting policewomen with a penchant for shooting scum bag 'seducers' and ripping their testicles off, this is not my home. So I ran, like the conniving little asshole I'm turning out to be. Least I can understand pops abit better now, why he was so afraid of Happosai and crap. Not that I would admit to being afraid of a girl, its just.. no matter how hard I try I can't hurt them. Saotome Ranma doesn't lose to men, but at times women scare the shit out of him. Currently ducking behind a car in the parking lot of an airport, cloaked in the Umi-Sen-Ken, I cautiously peered around, noting with disdain the amount of police there. Why did Chisa do this to me? I mean, I gave her the pleasure she was begging me for, its not my fault I got her knocked up. Okay, maybe it was, but she should have used birth control or something! She certainly didn't let me pull out like I wanted to. Stupid witch, she just wanted to enslave me to her lusts like the Amazons. Screw that!…. Okay, I already did, but damnit I won't become no ones bitch! Sneaking into the Airport Terminal, Ranma peered and examined his surroundings. Despite the upped security from the police, everything else seemed relatively normal. No other cursed martial artists, no kawaiikune tomboys with a fetish for animals, or anything 'dog' like. Maybe I should include 'cats' now, I only got a basic gist of what had happened before I had to run. I chuckled, that talk with Julia about 'Strype' had set me off on uncontrollable laughter. I had to hang up after explaining my situation to her about the other girls, cutting the conversation short after telling her I'll be there ( okay, so I ran - You would to if the telephone booth you were in got mowed down in a hail of bullets.). I really hadn't thought about Julia in months, but hey, who am I to complain about my luck leading me to her? She's a wild cat in bed that's for sure, wonder why she asked me to act like nothing happened between us when I get there? Ah well, I'll find out later. Least she never got pregnant with me, but something seemed really off. Something I'm forgetting that's setting me on edge when it came to Julia's family… wait a minute, family.. there's something about that "Fuck if I care" I state after smuggling aboard an airplane and taking a vacant seat in coach, yep - god bless pops for the umi-sen-ken - damn him to hell for everything else, but god bless the umi-sen-ken. The sounds of the airplane firing up its engine alert me to my escape, yes - those sluts won't find me in America and pawn their kids off on me. No way in hell! Or my name isn't Saotome Ranma! *** Soun Tendo is not a happy man. It would take a complete idiot to not see this before Ranma's 'exodus' a day ago. Now, he's more concerned with keeping Kasumi away from Genma. With the loss of her 'Ranma-kun' she's been getting more and more desperate for some relief. "Kimiko? Where did I go wrong?" he asks no one but the spirits, receiving no answer he sighed, pondering what to do with his children. He supposes he should be happy that the schools would finally be joined, but at what costs? Dishonor, Ranma refuses to marry either of his girls. Shuddering about the situation with Akane, he had no choice but to disown her. What the hell can you say to some one you want to marry your daughter off to? "Ah yes, this is my daughter Akane, she's 18, she's a cess pool of filth guaranteed to die within a few years, as well as completely obsessed with breeds of animals over normal, rightful sex. Don't worry, she agreed that she would only take her 'fluffums' to bed with her." How the hell she managed to find a Tiger Man with no one noticing is beyond him, all this aside - he finally agreed with Ranma on one point. Akane's a psychopathic whore of a woman. Whatever. "Daddy?" came a soft sing song voice from the stairs, turning his head from where he sat at the table he spied his lovely older daughter, Kasumi - Dressed in a form fitting leather outfit, covering none of her modesty. Her breasts hanging enticingly, flowing out of her clothing like a verifiable Niagara falls. Drooling abit, Soun asked "Yes Kasumi?" She seemed to fidget for a moment, before responding, "Since Ranma isn't here, and Uncle Saotome won't… you know, do you think you can?" before Soun could answer his daughter's question, he turned back to the table, and repeatedly pounded himself into the table until he lost consciousness. No one would be calling Soun Tendo a pedophile! HAHAHA. "Oh my" Kasumi swore, feeling oddly put out by her fathers antics, "What's wrong with taking out the trash?" she pondered, before a moan sounded from upstairs. "Oh good, Uncle Genma's awake!" she squealed in delight, lightly wiping her hand with her bull whip, or yes… she definitely understood why the Saotome men were so good in bed. It's in their blood! And it shows let me tell you, below the waist anyway. *** Listening to his police scanner, Ryoga couldn't help but laugh madly. That'll teach Ranma to go around telling his entire family what a good lay his aunt was. Little horny bastard nearly got her ousted from the family. It was a blow to his pride that she constantly returned to be serviced by Ranma. In a sick sort of way, he understand Ranma's disgust over him doing his Aunt, but hell - She's hot! Besides.. we used protection and all that.. No, he was just mad that Ranma was better at it than he was. At least he managed to convince Ranma Ukyo was pregnant with his kid, and not his. How do you tell some one your sterile to human females because of a screw up with his curse? Screw it, at least Ukyo will give him some. Rounding the corner to Ukyo's Ucchan he realized the folly of his plan, he had gotten the test results early from the local clinic, however he failed to hide said results. Ukyo was practically glowing from where she stood in front of the Ucchans. Her thoughts? Ukyo turn and spied Ryoga just as he went down in a pool of blood, kinda like he was staring at a naked woman. Oh well, back to her day dream of Ranma Tied to a bed, all sorts of food cradled over his body that she ever so slowly nibbled off, teasing his skin with her feather light touches Ryoga, regaining consciousness, replies in a way only so few can reply "What a crazy fucking set up this is…" catching a thought from Ukyo about dildo's sent him out again, who would have thought Ukyo was a freak?